FUNNY MUSIC STUFF

So here it is saturday again. What happen to the rest of the days this week. It's all been a blur. Another week in the music business. I need a laugh. I'm tired of crying. I'm J. Grady and I approve this message. "Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." — John Lennon "A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians." — Frank Zappa "Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung." — Voltaire "It's easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself." — J.S. Bach "I want to do a musical movie. Like Evita, but with good music." — Elton John "I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the manmade sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig." — Alfred Hitchcock "I don't deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn't deserve that, either. So I'll keep it." — Quincy Jones "I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch." — George Burns "All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song." — Louis Armstrong "The musician is perhaps the most modest of animals, but he is also the proudest. It is he who invented the sublime art of ruining poetry." — Erik Satie "Talking about music is like dancing about architecture." — Steve Martin "When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano." — Bob Hope "The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough." — Andy Rooney "Andrew Lloyd Webber's music is everywhere, but so is AIDS." — Malcolm Williamson "I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?" — Victor Borge

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." — Elvis Presley "Rock 'n' roll will never die. There'll always be some arrogant little brat who wants to make music with a guitar." — Dave Edmunds "I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single." — Tiny Tim "If I didn't do this well, I just wouldn't have anything to do... I can't cook, and I'd be a terrible housewife." — Freddy Mercury (of Queen) "For us the most important thing is to be visual, and for the cats watching us to have fun. This is all we want. We get very upset if people get bored when we're only half way through smashing the second set." — Roger Waters (of Pink Floyd)