What are we saying ?
We all remember it well. Three years ago, right before the Grammy awards, Rihanna was brutally and viciously attacked by her former boyfriend, Chris Brown. Horrifying images leaked onto the web of the bloodied and bruised pop star that sent a shock-wave through the music industry. Now, this past Monday the two released two songs featuring each others voices, and have ultimately sent a very strong message out to impressionable young fans. Which brings up a question many celebrities battle on a daily basis - does living in the spotlight mean having to make decisions based on public perception? Do stars have to be role models? Personally, I think the answer is simple: yes.
To start off I just want to say that I’m all about forgiveness. When I was a kid growing up in church some of my favorite stories were the ones where people who were terribly victimized found their abuser and forgave them. At the end of the day, no matter how awful someone has hurt you, I truly believe that until you forgive that person, you’re only doing yourself more harm. That being said, do I think it was a good idea for Rihanna to start being seen publicly with Chris Brown, to tweet him candidly, and to now release two songs with him? I think the only thing that could be more devastating would be her stepping back into a relationship with him, and I honestly don’t think that’s an unlikely scenario.
In response to criticism being thrown their way this week on Twitter, Brown tweeted, “Let them be mad!!!! We make music. Don't like it, don't listen!” He has a point. He does make music, and if his private life offends people, then they shouldn’t buy his music. But this is also coming from the man who threw a tantrum in a Walmart in 2009 (the same year he attacked Rihanna) for not carrying his newest album. Soon after he blew up in a local store he tweeted, “im tired of this s--t. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the f--- do i gotta do...WTF... yeah i said it and i aint retracting s***. im not biting my tongue about s else... the industry can kiss my a--.”
I’m sorry whaaaaat? A humble and apologetic attitude goes a long way in the public eye when you have a “slip up” like sending your girlfriend to the hospital. For me, Brown’s weak apology given after the event is completely negated with statements like this. Someone who truly understands the consequences of such actions would understand that their music career is surely going to be affected.
But in 2012, the Grammy’s extended a shockingly lenient hand to Brown, not only allowing him to perform, but awarding him his first Grammy award in the same night. It seems all is forgotten as Rihanna herself has taken the next step and recorded with Brown. The interesting part about this story is that Brown has a girlfriend currently and they are reportedly very happy together. So what does this all mean? I’ll tell you what it means.
Rihanna’s decision to publicly make amends with Brown has sent one HUGE message to fans and impressionable young girls: its acceptable to let a man hit you. She can deny it all she wants, but ultimately she is playing the role of the typical woman caught up in the cycle of an abusive relationship, constantly returning to the source of her own pain. We’ve all seen it before, whether it be first hand, or through people we know. This message she’s sending is probably not intentional, but its still there. It's still reverberating through the sound-waves as fans race to purchase these two songs. Its a faint whisper in the mind of the young girl from Barbados who idolizes Rihanna for representing her country on a worldwide scale. It's numbing the pain of the woman debating whether or not she should leave her abusive husband. It's repeating the message to the teenage boy who sees his father beat his mother that all women forgive, all women return, all behavior is acceptable in relationships. In 2009 Rhianna was the victim of a terrible attack that included Brown punching her multiple times in the face and even biting her. After being hospitalized and recovering, she was provided a unique opportunity to use her global platform to tell women that this was unacceptable, that once is enough, that physical abuse is a 100% deal-breaker. But she didn’t. She never said a bad thing about Brown, she never really made an attempt to speak to women who have been through similar trauma, and now she is happily stepping back into a friendship with the man who sent her to the hospital three years ago.
When Rihanna signed on the dotted lines to become an international pop star, she also signed up for the paparazzi to follow her every move. She signed up for critics openly bashing her live performance vocals. She signed up for fans analyzing her life under a microscope. And whether she likes it or not, she signed up to be a role model to young women. Like I said before, I’m all about forgiveness. I love that Rihanna has clearly forgiven Brown for what he did. But rekindling their relationship is far too dangerous- not only for herself, but for the countless women who will likely do the same. Being a role model doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, but it does mean you have to be responsible. Only time can reveal how this story further unfolds, but lets hope and pray that it doesn’t end up the way it did back in 2009.
-J. Burton
To start off I just want to say that I’m all about forgiveness. When I was a kid growing up in church some of my favorite stories were the ones where people who were terribly victimized found their abuser and forgave them. At the end of the day, no matter how awful someone has hurt you, I truly believe that until you forgive that person, you’re only doing yourself more harm. That being said, do I think it was a good idea for Rihanna to start being seen publicly with Chris Brown, to tweet him candidly, and to now release two songs with him? I think the only thing that could be more devastating would be her stepping back into a relationship with him, and I honestly don’t think that’s an unlikely scenario.
In response to criticism being thrown their way this week on Twitter, Brown tweeted, “Let them be mad!!!! We make music. Don't like it, don't listen!” He has a point. He does make music, and if his private life offends people, then they shouldn’t buy his music. But this is also coming from the man who threw a tantrum in a Walmart in 2009 (the same year he attacked Rihanna) for not carrying his newest album. Soon after he blew up in a local store he tweeted, “im tired of this s--t. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the f--- do i gotta do...WTF... yeah i said it and i aint retracting s***. im not biting my tongue about s else... the industry can kiss my a--.”
I’m sorry whaaaaat? A humble and apologetic attitude goes a long way in the public eye when you have a “slip up” like sending your girlfriend to the hospital. For me, Brown’s weak apology given after the event is completely negated with statements like this. Someone who truly understands the consequences of such actions would understand that their music career is surely going to be affected.
But in 2012, the Grammy’s extended a shockingly lenient hand to Brown, not only allowing him to perform, but awarding him his first Grammy award in the same night. It seems all is forgotten as Rihanna herself has taken the next step and recorded with Brown. The interesting part about this story is that Brown has a girlfriend currently and they are reportedly very happy together. So what does this all mean? I’ll tell you what it means.
Rihanna’s decision to publicly make amends with Brown has sent one HUGE message to fans and impressionable young girls: its acceptable to let a man hit you. She can deny it all she wants, but ultimately she is playing the role of the typical woman caught up in the cycle of an abusive relationship, constantly returning to the source of her own pain. We’ve all seen it before, whether it be first hand, or through people we know. This message she’s sending is probably not intentional, but its still there. It's still reverberating through the sound-waves as fans race to purchase these two songs. Its a faint whisper in the mind of the young girl from Barbados who idolizes Rihanna for representing her country on a worldwide scale. It's numbing the pain of the woman debating whether or not she should leave her abusive husband. It's repeating the message to the teenage boy who sees his father beat his mother that all women forgive, all women return, all behavior is acceptable in relationships. In 2009 Rhianna was the victim of a terrible attack that included Brown punching her multiple times in the face and even biting her. After being hospitalized and recovering, she was provided a unique opportunity to use her global platform to tell women that this was unacceptable, that once is enough, that physical abuse is a 100% deal-breaker. But she didn’t. She never said a bad thing about Brown, she never really made an attempt to speak to women who have been through similar trauma, and now she is happily stepping back into a friendship with the man who sent her to the hospital three years ago.
When Rihanna signed on the dotted lines to become an international pop star, she also signed up for the paparazzi to follow her every move. She signed up for critics openly bashing her live performance vocals. She signed up for fans analyzing her life under a microscope. And whether she likes it or not, she signed up to be a role model to young women. Like I said before, I’m all about forgiveness. I love that Rihanna has clearly forgiven Brown for what he did. But rekindling their relationship is far too dangerous- not only for herself, but for the countless women who will likely do the same. Being a role model doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, but it does mean you have to be responsible. Only time can reveal how this story further unfolds, but lets hope and pray that it doesn’t end up the way it did back in 2009.
-J. Burton
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